Till Debt Do Us Part

Here is one way to keep financial problems from ruining your marriage

Photo by Mathieu Stern on Unsplash

38% (of couples who divorce) report financial problems as a divorce cause.

Revealing Divorce Statistics In 2025, Forbes.com

When I met my wife, she came bundled with a charge card debt of $5,000.

She didn’t come right out and say it. It’s not like it’s something you talk about on your first date over an appetizer of fried calamari.

When we married a short 8 months later, I decided to free her of her shackles and pay off the debt. I was fortunate enough to have had the money on hand and I didn’t want to start our married life burdened by monthly debt repayments.

We will be celebrating our 20th year wedding anniversary soon. The one strategy that has helped minimize financial stress for us and has factored into the amazing relationship we have now is consolidating our finances.

This is something that not all couples follow, but for us, it works.

And it may work for you too.

Why Consolidate Your Finances?

• It keeps things simple.

  When we pay the mortgage or the water bill, it all comes out of one account. No need to juggle multiple checking accounts hoping you picked the right one.

• It increases visibility.

  We log into the same budgeting app and see the same expenditures. At all times, we know how much money is coming in and how much is going out. We’re both on the same page.

  And if your spouse is spending just a tad too much on her eccentric Chinese Gacha doll hobby, you can have a conversation before it endangers your ability to eat that month.

• It prevents arguments.

  When you’re on the same page looking at the same line items, you don’t need to wonder if your electricity is going to be shut off or how lavish of a vacation you can take. You also know exactly where all your money went at the end of the month.

• It builds trust.

  We don’t keep secrets from one another. There aren’t any invisible, rainy-day accounts we don’t know about. And all though we may not bring in the same income, our money is pooled together for our eventual retirement. This also increases the psychological safety that we have each other’s back if things go sideways.

• It puts the work on the person that wants it.

  I love numbers and keeping things organized in an app. My wife doesn’t. That’s fine. This removes any pressure from her to manage our finances and puts it on me.

  But here’s the thing. I find it a joy to track everything. I’m weird like that. And she’s free to buy this month’s Gacha doll.

Meet (part of) my wife’s collection

Here’s How To Do It

When you have separate finances, you’re acting like one business with two separate accounting departments never knowing what the other is investing or bringing in.

Now this may work for you. I’m not here to judge.

But if you haven’t already brought your finances together and are interested in doing so, here are the steps you can take.

1. Set aside time together to have a discussion.

   If you’re unsure about your spouse’s stance, broach the topic when you’re both far removed from your usual stressors like work or kids. Go out for a walk.

   Grab some coffee. Find a neutral location.

   Let them know why you want to take this step. (Hint: Use my list of benefits above if you get stuck.) Paint your vision of a brighter future.

   With any luck, you’ll be onto the next step.

2. Set a goal.

   Do you want to go on a cruise across Europe next year?

   How about paying down all your debt this year?

   Retire at 55?

   Whatever it is, create a goal (or set of goals) together.

3. Get the receipts.

   Now onto the fun part. Plan some focused time for the two of you to sit down and lay it all out.

   The checking accounts, the savings accounts, credit card bills, student loans, Roth IRAs, that terrible card you opened in college in exchange for that toy basketball hoop for your dorm room.

   Everything.

   Start documenting what’s coming in every month and what’s going out.

   Figure out how much is going into your fixed expenses like rent and car payments and how much is discretionary like clothing and eating out.

4. Make adjustments.

   Now that you have a clear picture of all your dollars and what you want to achieve with them, make adjustments to your current finances to put you on the path to meet that goal.

   Maybe you want to cut back on a few subscriptions to put a little bit more into your mortgage payments. Go for it.

5. Revisit your plan.

   Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

   -Mike Tyson

   It’s up to you when you do it and you probably need to meet more often in the beginning, but make sure to reassess and recalibrate your plan especially when your situation changes.

   Getting a fat bonus at work. Your kid is applying to colleges. The water heater breaks.

   You’re gonna need a new plan.

Now it’s your turn. Will you commit to combining your finances for a happier, less stressed marriage?

Or maybe you already have. What’s your experience been?

Know someone who’s going through financial woes with their loved one? Go ahead and share this post.

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I wish you all the best in achieving your financial dreams and living a Min-Max life!

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