I didn’t graduate from college thinking that I would go into Technical Program Management. Heck, I didn’t even know what that was. I thought I would use my Electrical and Computer Engineering degree to go design circuits. (Wouldn’t that have been a completely different life if I had somehow gotten into NVIDIA on the ground floor?)

Like many TPMs, I fell into the role. I started in a service department that had me troubleshooting both hardware and software problems. After a few years, I joined a media company as an engineer. While I sometimes touched production code, I mainly managed contractors to do much of the heavy lifting.

And that’s where my life as a TPM began.

Over the years, I was able to level up while gradually taking on more and more scope. I moved companies a couple of times even through the midst of being laid off at the start of the pandemic.

And I wish I had future Marcel to share with me these unwritten rules.

TPM Hidden Truths

Here’s what nobody tells you about being a Technical Program Manager. Number 4 will shock you! (j/k I mean, I dunno, maybe it will.)

1. To drive change, you need authority and respect, and you often need to influence people who don’t directly report into you.

This is especially true when you’re just starting out as a fledgling TPM, but even Senior TPMs require this skill. Whether small or enterprise-scale, you will need to Konami code your stakeholder management. And for those unfamiliar, that means you’ll be managing Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, B, A, Start. (Ok, maybe not B, A, Start.)

Start getting good at this today. How, you ask? By building social credit in your sphere of influence and there’s many ways to go about this.

2. Tradeoffs don’t just happen in your programs. You also need to make them throughout your own day.

When you start getting into managing multiple projects at once, you need to start managing your time and energy just as much as you do your project resources.

Long gone are the days where I could comfortably answer every email, text message, and Teams message while clearing out my to do list on a daily basis. You’ll need to figure out what is most worth your time and effort… right now.

I go into this in more detail in a previous post. You might want to check it out - Hard things don’t get easier, you just get stronger.

And this is a good segue into the next unwritten rule…

3. As much as you want to, you can’t do it all. Learn to rely on your program team (and allies you make along the way).

None of us can be Superman or Wonder Woman. Not if we want to live a somewhat balanced life outside of work at least.

You’ll need the cooperation of your own Justice League. Yes, even Aquaman because even he had his specific skill set that added value to the team.

Figure out what your program team’s respective strengths are and leverage them for the best possible deliverables.

4. It’s ok to not know the answer. Be transparent about it, give a timeframe on when you’ll get back to them, and actually do it.

I can’t even count the numbers of times I’ve said “I don’t know” in meetings. Trust me; it’s OK to do it. But you must either find the answer or find someone who can. That’s one way you start building trust and credibility.

5. Your greatest strength is your ability to connect.

One of the biggest myths about being a great TPM is that you must have developer-level expertise.

No, the best TPMs are the best connectors.

You could be in a standup for one of your development teams and overhear a blocker that they’re not able to deploy an emergency hotfix for a client due to a change in release processes. And it just so happens that you had lunch with the release manager last week. You offer to connect your team to them and BOOM you’ve helped solve the crisis.

More to come

It takes years to figure these things out on your own. I hope you’ve found an unwritten rule or two that resonated with you.

Your Min-Max action this week is to pick one of these unwritten rules and apply it at work.

Let me know how it worked out for you. And if I’ve missed an unwritten rule that’s helped you level up, I’d love to hear it.

Look out for the next round of TPM unwritten rules in a future post.

On the big screen (and lots of little ones too)

Huge update for all of you Min-Maxers: I’ve started a YouTube channel where I dive deeper into my posts. Check out the first video here. And if it resonates with you, do all the things: Like, Subscribe, and Share.

“Where in the f*ck is this NPC?”

I’d been lurking on the Jahai Bluffs map for over an hour desperately waiting for an NPC to spawn so I could complete what felt like step 58 of this collection quest. And he just wasn’t showing up.

You see, a couple weeks earlier, I had decided that I wanted to unlock the legendary accessory, Vision. I knew what I was signing up for. It would be session after session of grinding for various in-game ingredients which would unlock the next step.

Rinse and repeat until I eventually ended up with the final 4 components I would need to craft Vision.

And the reward would be worth it. We are talking about a premier endgame item that would let you change your stats on the fly (including whatever new meta evolves from the latest release). Even better was that every other player would see the visual indicator of the item you unlocked, aka, instant bragging rights.

There was just one catch.

To unlock Vision, you need to understand the proper sequence of events that would unlock each required material.

Our deliverables are legendary items

You’ve probably never thought about your programs in this way but your deliverables are basically legendary items.

Day after day, you grind it out to unlock the prerequisites needed. Especially for multi-quarter and multi-year, large-scale programs, you often only have a vague idea of how to reach your desired outcome.

So you take it one step at a time.

“What’s the next piece we need? How do we go about getting it?”

“All right. Done. What’s next?”

One foot in front of the other. One task completed on your team’s sprint board then onto the next.

What I do and how it will help you achieve your goals faster

Here are some actions you can try to keep your dependencies in check.

Research and simplify

Before I even took my first step in crafting Vision, I did my research. I can’t tell you how many times I watched Mukluk’s YT walkthrough, read through pages and pages of GuildJen’s guide, and looked up every needed item on the Guild Wars 2 Wiki.

Let’s say your team is responsible for a major migration for a tool you’ve never used before.

Pull up the vendor’s docs. Watch videos on the topic. Search for a migration framework that others may have used.

Map your unlock sequence

Glimpse. Mystic Tribute. Gift of Prescience. Gift of Arid Mastery.

Combine these 4 ingredients and you’ll be sitting pretty as the owner of Vision.

Mystic Tribute can be bought. That’s easy peasy.

The Gifts of Prescience and Arid Mastery have time-gated sub-ingredients. Just log in daily for a few weeks and collect them.

Glimpse… now this one requires the most planning. 20 steps to unlock it, each with their own dependencies.

What’s the Glimpse in your program that needs to be unlocked?

Maybe that migration your team is working on is just one deliverable in a larger transformation program. But it’s the Glimpse that has the most intricacies. Lay out your path to that deliverable. Pull in your SMEs (subject matter experts) to get a well-rounded and holistic view of what it’s going to take. Understand how all the pieces connect. Tools like Miro and Confluence whiteboard are great for this. But don’t get stuck on the tooling; pen and paper will work just fine.

Check in with your guild

Sometimes you just get stuck and can’t move forward. That’s when you need to check in.

This is where my guild members came in clutch. When I couldn’t find that NPC, they jumped in to help me. They even accelerated my journey to Vision by showing me the steps that were optional essentially removing what I thought previously were dependencies.

Who are your guild members in your program? These are the people that have already completed that step before, maybe even crafted their own Vision. They can point out the connections you’ve missed.

Find those who have walked a similar path to save you the headache of a missed program goal.

Takeaway

This week’s Min-Max action is to pull together a session with your program’s stakeholders and outline the unlock sequence. Align on your outcomes, challenge assumed constraints, and uncover the hidden dependencies that are keeping your program stuck.

If you’ve been subscribed to this newsletter for a while, you might have noticed something: I up and vanished.

No dramatic farewell post. No “taking a break” announcement. I just… stopped showing up. One week became two, two became a month, and a month became, well, a lot longer than I’d like to admit.

In gamer terms, I didn’t die. I had just AFK’ed. (For everyone else, I was away from my keyboard.)

So before we go too much further, I think I owe you an honest explanation of what happened and more importantly, where we’re going from here.

Why I Started This

I launched Min-Max Life because I’ve always believed that life, at its core, works like a great role-playing game (RPG).

You start with a basic skill set. You take on quests and, if you’re anything like me, you spend waaaaay too much time on the side quests.

You grind.

You fail.

You grind again.

You level up.

And with each new level, the game gets harder and more rewarding. The whole point isn’t to reach the end. It’s to become someone capable of handling whatever the game throws at you next.

I started writing because I wanted to share that framework with people who, like me, are trying to build something meaningful in their careers, their lives, and eventually, on their own terms.

That felt true when I started and it still rings true today.

Why I Stopped

Here’s the honest version: I ran out of steam.

I’d been consistent for a few months showing up every week and putting real effort into each post. Then life intervened (a long vacation, some personal stuff), and when I came back, poof the momentum was gone. The subscriber numbers weren’t where I hoped they’d be. And without a clear sense of who I was writing for, every blank page felt like a boss fight I wasn’t equipped for.

So I did what any reasonable gamer does when a dungeon gets too hard too fast.

I went and did some side quests.

The problem is I never came back to the main story.

Why I’m Back… And Why It’s Different This Time

Something shifted for me recently. I’ve spent over two decades in the tech industry, working my way up to a Director of Technical Program Management. I’m excellent at what I do. I’ve led complex, cross-functional programs, designed processes that made entire product development organizations run smoother, and helped a lot of people along the way.

But somewhere in there I realized: I’ve been pouring my best skills into someone else’s game.

That’s not a complaint; it’s an observation. And it lit a fire under me that I haven’t felt in a long time. I’ve had an entrepreneurial itch for years, but I just never had a clear enough vision of what to build.

Now I do.

What Min-Max Life Is Becoming

Starting now, Min-Max Life has a sharper focus: helping aspiring and early-career Technical Program Managers level up. Faster. Smarter. And with a helluva lot less of the trial and error I had to go through.

If you’re trying to break into the TPM field, just landed your first role, or are a few years in and wondering how to get to the next level, this newsletter is for you.

Every issue will give you something concrete: a framework, a lesson from the field, a career move worth considering, or an honest look at what this job actually demands (and rewards). And because I’ve been a gamer since the NES era — we’re talking the Final Fantasy series, the Legend of Zelda, Mega Man, the works — I’ll be using the language I know best to make it all stick.

Think skill trees, not org charts. Think quests, not OKRs. Think leveling up, not “career development planning.”

Same ideas. Way more fun.

What I’m Asking From You

If this new direction resonates with you, I’d love for you to stick around. Tell a friend who’s trying to break into tech. Hit reply and let me know what you’re struggling with. Your questions will literally shape what I write next.

And if the new focus isn’t what you signed up for, no hard feelings. Unsubscribing is always an option. I’d rather have a small group of people who are genuinely excited than a large list of people who aren’t.

The main quest has restarted. The party is assembling.

Ready up.

“We’re taxing penguins now?”

It has not been a great week for investors. The Dow Jones dropped more than 2,200 points. The S&P hit close to a double-digit percentage loss.

I’ve gotten 3 phone calls from my broker and just as many emails about reviewing my portfolio.

The internet is losing its collective mind.

Am I concerned? Abso-freaking-lutely.

Am I going to stay the course? You betcha.

Aww… Another Recession?

Investopedia defines a recession as “A significant, widespread, and prolonged downturn in economic activity.”

Are we in one now, or on a death march toward one? It doesn’t sound like anyone can agree.

As a proud card-holding member of the Elder Millenials, I’ve had the privilege of living through five recessions and I gotta tell you something.

I’ve come out the other end of each one of them just fine. Sure, I was an infant for the 1981-1982 recession and watching the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated series during the early 1990s recession. But I was definitely impacted by the proceeding recessions when it came time to find work after graduating from college and to look for a home around the subprime mortgage crisis.

This isn’t a post about politics so you might want to look elsewhere if that’s what you were hoping for. This is a post about keeping your cool and not letting emotion wreck your well-laid plans.

This Is Fine

Here’s how to stay level-headed about the current economic turmoil.

First, take the long view. Unless you’re clocking in on Monday and handing in your formal retirement notice, you’ve probably got some time for the market to bounce back. If all goes to plan, I should be able to retire early and even then I would still have a good 10-15 years until I’ll be sitting on the beach with a Mai Tai permanently by my side. (That’s not even how I picture retirement. I assume that’s the stereotypical view of it though.) Anyway, that’s still plenty of time for the market to bounce back.

Second, stop looking at your portfolio. Or at least stop checking it daily. I really write this one for myself. I am addicted to looking at my accounts multiple times a day. It is an exercise in futility and annoyance. Even if I lost 15% or 20% in a day, what would I do about it? I’ll tell you.

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Parts of my portfolio are managed by robots. Other parts are managed by smarter human beings than me. Guess who isn’t doing any of the management? Me.

Unless you’re a successful day trader (is that an oxymoron?), you most likely wouldn’t benefit from flipping through your account balances as if you were a tween flipping through #hopecore TikToks.

Third, you might want to find a hobby. Okay, this one was going to be about stopping your consumption of social media and news, but that’s actually really difficult to do. I like scrolling through parody #hopecore reels so I need to put up with the occasional news cycle rage bait. So instead of all that, go do something you really love and get your mind off of the perpetual impending state of doom our economy always seems to be facing.

Read a book. Learn an instrument. Watch Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. (Honestly it was really good. I probably shouldn’t check how it did on Rotten Tomatoes.)

We don’t get that much time here on planet Earth. Might as well use it to better yourself or better the rest of humanity.

(Oh wow. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes was actually Certified Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. Who would’ve thunk?)

Cowabunga!

Regardless of which uninhabited island in Antarctica we impose a tariff on next, just take a chill pill. (I know. I know. My Elder Millennial is showing again.)

Do things kinda suck right now? I mean, sure. We’re literally able to make installment payments on Chipotle burrito bowls now.

But if you’ve already made a plan for how you’re going to handle your finances, continue to work that plan. Heck, maybe buy more stocks. I certainly haven’t changed or stopped my scheduled purchases of stocks and crypto.

When the stock market is down, it’s a great time to buy. When the stock market is up, it’s a great time to build wealth.

Whatever you do though, please don’t mortgage your next Double ShackBurger and bacon cheese fries.

“Woohoo! We did it! We’re back, baby!”

Shouts of joy erupted over Voice Chat. My gaming friends and I had just defeated a difficult boss that required planning and coordination across 10 players.

And it was at that moment I finally felt like my life had gotten back to normal.

Day The World (As We Knew It) Ended

Five years ago the world started to change. Many of us wouldn’t understand the scope of those changes until many years later.

Before the COVID-19 pandemic began, I had things in my life that I thoroughly enjoyed. I was part of a home brewing club that would meet monthly to swap beers and recipes. I belonged to a church where I loved the worship and the community. And as more offices began to shut down and people worked from home, I joined a guild of people who played a game called Guild Wars 2.

It became difficult to meet in person with both my fellow home brewers and community of believers as the pandemic raged on. Sure, we tried Zoom meetings but it just wasn’t the same. So over time I stopped going to those events.

Making Memories

Gaming culture is a hard thing to describe to those who haven’t already experienced it.

In my gaming guild, we would meet for in-game events a few times a week. And when we weren’t doing those events, we would hang out virtually in VC talking about all sorts of subjects.

Beyond games, we would host movie nights. We would even play board games virtually.

Regardless of what you think about video games, I will tell you that some of my fondest memories have been made while overcoming tough challenges with a group of globally dispersed people whom I may never get a chance to meet in real life.

And there was no better time in human history (at least the part that I’ve been alive for) that’s been more conducive to these activities than during the pandemic when everyone was stuck at home with nothing but their devices and an internet connection.

Fast forward a couple years as social distancing and masking policies became things of the past, the guild I loved started to unravel.

Our in-game events started to slow down. Less and less people would join. When free time would roll around, I would often select a game that wasn’t Guild Wars 2.

It’s not like we all collectively said one day that we would stop meeting. It was just like a favorite hometown bar that over time even the regulars stopped going to.

We’re Getting The Band Back Together

Two weeks ago, I had just finished dinner and was starting to get comfortable in my usual spot in the living room when I received a notification on my phone. It was an announcement from our guild leader in a chat that had been lying dormant for over 2 years.

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!!?!

After two years and 9 months (At least since the last time I played), we are rebooting and rebuilding the guild!!!

As the kids say, this was not on my bingo card for 2025. But I was SO ready for it.

Within mere moments, our chat fired back up and friends were coming out of the woodwork. We were cracking jokes and catching up on life. We had picked up right where we had left off.

It was amazing.

I hadn’t realized how much I missed those connections until they were rekindled.

Blast From The Past

Along with getting back together with my gaming buddies, I’ve rejoined the church I left many years ago. I also found a men’s group that meets in person which recharges my spirit.

While I haven’t rejoined the home brewing club, I have been thinking about restarting brewing.

If you’re like me and still haven’t felt quite right 5 years after the pandemic, try connecting with your past. I admit you might not regain everything you lost.

But you might get close.

I’m not a gambler. Not in the “lose my house and savings” kind of way anyway. But I have been known to dabble.

Like the time many years ago in Atlantic City when I put $20 in a slot machine, won $100, and immediately walked away. My wife and I then proceeded to have a nice dinner at a nearby restaurant.

There was also the time during a cruise to Bermuda that I decided to once again try my luck at the slot machines because of a conversation with an actual gambler who had his entire cruise comped. It wasn’t until I had lost $60 that I found out I’d need to lose another $1,940 before I’d get my first “free” trip.

So I stopped.

Until I Didn’t

There is, however, one time of the year when the gambling bug bites.

Some call it a chance auction. Others call it a penny social or tricky tray.

I was introduced to it 3 years ago when my son started going to a high school which holds an annual lucky number fundraising dinner.

My wife and I really didn’t know what to expect. Along with the cost of our dinner, we were given a sheet of tickets. If you’ve never been to one before, here’s how they usually work.

1. You pay for as many tickets as you like.

2. There are baskets of various prizes with a container in front of each.

3. If you’d like a chance at winning a prize, you can place as many tickets as you like in that container.

4. Once everyone’s had a chance to “spend” all of their tickets, the host will pull one ticket for each prize. If your ticket matches, you win the prize!

The one that we attended most recently had two tiers of prizes where the cost for tickets to the second tier was higher. That’s because the Tier 2 baskets had a higher value.

But wait, there’s more!

In addition to the auction, we had yet another opportunity to gamble, whoops, I mean donate money to my kid’s school. We could also buy tickets to the 50/50 raffle where we would have the chance to win half of the cash collected from the sale of those tickets. We unfortunately did not walk away with that prize.

Winner, winner. Chicken dinner!

Based on what I’ve experienced these last three years of attending the chance auction, there really are only 2 strategies when it comes to bidding on prizes.

Strategy 1 — Laser Beam: This is where you focus in on one or two prizes that you really, really want to bring home. It could be a day at the spa. Maybe it’s a pizza oven. And you dump all of your tickets. Because the more tickets you put in, the more chances you have to win.

Strategy 2 — Shotgun Blast: You can’t help it. You like everything you see, so you put a ticket in every container.

Our strategy leans more toward Laser Beam than Shotgun Blast.

While it may be more exciting to have a stake in every prize and be on the edge of your seat during the host’s every announcement, I’ve found that we win more when we take a more focused approach.

And win we did.

In Year 1, we felt we were walking out of that auction with nothing but dust in our pockets and chimichurri steak in our bellies. However this would not be the story we would be telling our future grandchildren. With a stroke of luck, we won a rare Tier 3 prize, a chartered fishing trip.

In Year 2, there was no big prize. But we did win a Tier 1 prize which contained some school-branded paraphernalia. It wasn’t the best, but it also wasn’t the worst.

This recent auction was probably our favorite thus far. It was the first time that we each won something we liked. My wife won a basket called Feeling Fancy which contained a themed set of napkins, napkin rings, and a platter along with a mug warming set and a gift certificate for a wash, cut, and blowout. I won a Tier 2 prize which might as well have been called Caffeine Overload. It came with a Nespresso Vertuo Next, several gift certificates to various coffee shops, coffee flavorings, and other goodies.

We were definitely happy campers by the end of the night.

While we had a ton of fun at the auction (because hey, it’s fun to win), I’d be wary of attending more than one a year. It can be a bit pricey depending on how many tickets you purchase and you’re obviously not guaranteed to win anything.

If you’ve never been to a chance auction, I’d say try it at least once. Go in with the mindset of having fun and no expectations of winning. That way if your ticket doesn’t get called, you would’ve still had a good time.

Anyway, I’m off to go make a quick cup of coffee with my newly unboxed Nespresso machine.

I’ve had to do many hard things this week. Things that I had been anxious about for several days.

Here’s what was on my plate at the start of last week:

At work, I have numerous projects at multiple stages. Unfortunately, they all require heavy mental processing on my part, i.e., creation of new processes and execution of running initiatives.

Amidst all that, I needed to host, facilitate, and participate in a 2-day onsite workshop which included my manager, a few coworkers, and several people from a vendor.

And that was just at work.

At home, I was wrestling with a decision of whether to start going to another church with my family.

In the moments between meetings and daily activities, my thoughts drifted in and out of these various challenges. I kept worrying about every minute detail.

“What if this goes wrong?”

“How will they react?”

“What if I look stupid?”

I had various difficult tasks in front of me, and my worrying wasn’t helping to solve any of them.

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I needed a new game plan

First, when I would catch my mind drifting into the territory of doubt and anxiety, I asked myself what was distressing me. For the onsite, I had been worrying about whether certain attendees would join, if I’d ordered enough food, and if the agenda required yet another revision.

At its core, I just didn’t feel 100% prepared.

So then I asked myself what one action I could take to improve things.

And if there was no action, I resolved to stop worrying and to be present in whatever I had been doing before these intrusive thoughts crept in.

Another useful strategy is to serialize the hard things. Even though it feels like it all comes crashing down at the same time, that’s rarely the case.

Handle the hard stuff one at a time. Multitasking is a myth. Put the full weight of your focus on a single task. Only when it’s done do you move on.

Years ago, I sat in on a training on Stephen Covey’s Four Quadrants of Time Management. It provided a useful rubric on how to categorize the tasks in your life based on urgency and importance. Once categorized, you have better insight into what to handle and when.

The more important a task is, the greatest impact it has on your long-term success.

The more urgent a task is, the sooner it requires your immediate attention.

And if a task is neither important nor urgent, either don’t do it or delegate it.

The challenge that most busy people have is that they spend all their time on urgent tasks. They’ll often tell you that they’re “putting out yet another fire”. They wander aimlessly through life like a sleep-deprived firefighter.

This isn’t a full study on the time management quadrants. However, I suggest you look into it as it provides a helpful lens to view all the stuff you have to do in your life.

Looking back at my examples, here’s how I would categorize them.

Work projects: Important but not urgent.

Onsite: Important and urgent.

Personal stuff: Important but not urgent.

I could clearly see that the onsite deserved my immediate attention. Once the onsite was complete, I could focus on my projects. And once the workweek was done, I could focus on my personal stuff.

And that’s precisely what I did.

Fear is the mind-killer

The final lesson that I learned this week came to me as I was in the process of doing the hard stuff.

I’ve been reading through the Dune chronicles, and I was reminded of the Litany Against Fear this week.

I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.

I will face my fear. I will let it pass through me.

When the fear has gone, there shall be nothing.

Only I will remain.

— Children of Dune, Frank Herbert

I came to the realization that the actual event, whether it be a tough meeting or a hard email to write, was much less painful than the buildup.

All the what-if scenarios that end in disaster far outweighed the uncomfortableness of the actual events. In fact, I surprisingly enjoyed working through my challenges in the moment.

It’s easier said than done to stop worrying and be present in all moments of your life. But you can try the strategies I’ve provided in small increments until you really get comfortable with them.

When a challenge comes along:

1. Reflect on what’s really worrying you.

2. Determine what action, if any, you can take.

3. Put aside the worry.

4. Categorize your task based on importance and urgency.

5. Do the hard thing and be present in the moment.

And you know what the best part of working through your challenges is? You either end up stronger for it or you learn a valuable lesson.

Amelia Earhart was the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.

Nelson Mandela became the first Black president of South Africa and united an entire nation.

John F. Kennedy declared that America would land a man on the moon and Neil Armstrong accomplished it 8 years later.

What do all of these people have in common?

Ambition.

They dared to dream and took action to accomplish their goals. They exemplified resilience and persevered to make an impact. And humanity was all the better for it.

But when can ambition get out of hand?

You’ve likely experienced it firsthand whether it’s that obnoxious, egotistical person at work who’s always vying for their next promotion or that teammate who hogs the ball for their 15 minutes of fame.

You can probably think of a historical figure or two who took their ambition too far with disastrous impact on entire groups of people.

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I want to be the very best

James K.A. Smith, professor of philosophy at Calvin College, states that ambition is often marked by domination and attention.

As I reflect on my life thus far, I definitely went through my childhood and early career with an attitude of striving to be the best. Both domination and attention were driving forces.

I used to study late into the night to get the best grades. I wanted my name at the top of the class so everyone would know just how smart I was. I wanted my parents to shower me with praise.

At work I would chase the tough projects and go after more and more certifications. Most of my conversations with my managers were about my path to my next promotion. The increase in salary was secondary to the shiny, new title. As I saw more of my network post ever loftier titles on their LinkedIn profiles, I wanted it that much more.

But is ambition a bad thing?

I don’t necessarily think so. You might be climbing the corporate ladder, starting your own business, improving your health and wellness, or searching for your life partner. Before you can reach whatever your goal is, you need the desire to achieve more.

But if you treat life as a zero-sum game where others have to lose for you to win, you may have gone too far on the ambition spectrum.

Ask yourself:

Are your late nights at the office causing you to miss family events?

Are you physically at your kid’s soccer game but mentally editing that PowerPoint deck you’ll be presenting to your senior leadership team the next morning?

Is your constant calorie tracking and your 4-day full-body weight lifting split creating a rift between you and your partner?

It may be time for you to reassess your goals.

Don’t believe the lies

I know it can be hard in today’s hustle and “grindset” culture. We’re forced to believe that we always need to be “making moves” and staying 5 steps ahead of everyone else.

We lie to ourselves and say we need to do and be more. The world shouts at us that we are not enough.

If you’re tired of maximizing shareholder value or staying within your caloric limits and hitting your macros, might I suggest the following?

1. Reflect on what you value.

   Promotions, while still important to me, are no longer top of mind. I am more concerned with my Faith (connection to God), my relationship with my Family, and being in Community with others.

   That’s what’s important to me. How about you?

2. See what needs to change in your life.

   I’m not asking you to quit your job (in this economy?) but perhaps pumping the brakes a bit is called for. You might just need to stop saying yes to everything that comes your way to focus on the truly essential stuff.

3. Do something about it.

   Ambition is just that. It’s a desire. To get to where you’re trying to go, you need to take action.

So what’s the thing in your heart that you’ve been putting off? Or is there something you must stop doing? Is today the day you look at yourself in the mirror and make that change?

Riddle Me This

Maybe you’re content with your life today. If that’s you, I think that’s pretty awesome. Keep on keepin’ on.

But if you’re reading this and you’re thinking to yourself, “I’ve got no ambition. What should I do?”, you might need new goals.

“But I don’t know what my goals are or what I want to do.”

The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of questions you are asking yourself.

— Tony Robbins

Ok, so I’m probably using Tony’s quote out of context, but it’s helpful here.

Let me give you an example. Let’s say that part of your daily commute to work consists of a pretty dangerous walk. The sidewalks are crumbling and there aren’t any traffic lights on the part of the highway you need to cross to get to your bus or train.

You might think to yourself, “I like my job but this commute sucks. Should I quit?”

The better question might be, “There’s plenty of other people with this same walk. What can I do to improve this for all of us?”

This could lead you to making a trip to your city hall, getting involved with your community, and making your town a safer place to walk around.

Presto! You’ve got yourself a new goal that you’re passionate about.

A question that’s been on my heart for a few months now is, “In a world that’s more connected than ever, why do I feel so alone?”

This has led me on a journey to find real life connection. You could say I’m ambitious about my new goal of getting back to a feeling of community that I had before the 2020 contagion.

And that’s an ambition where everyone wins.

Take some time to self-reflect on what’s in your heart, ask yourself the deep questions, and use your ambition for a force of good.

The only reason to save money is to spend it on something that matters.

— Unknown

For some it doesn’t happen until they’ve officially retired.

Others do it too early and go into crippling debt.

But when is the right time to save less and spend more?

Ever since I got my first paycheck, I’ve managed my money on my own but last year I decided to see a financial consultant. I wanted to get a professional’s eyes on my plan.

I needed to know the answer to the following question:

Am I on track with saving up for retirement?

His answer:

You’re doing better than a lot of my other clients, even the ones 20 years older than you.

That lifted a weight off my shoulders.

I felt validation that I’ve been doing the “right things” when it comes to money. Like ice thawing on the first warm day of spring, I sensed a shift within me from penny-pinching to being a bit more free with my money.

I’m no where close to starring on an episode of TLC’s Extreme Cheapskates but I have exhibited a few miserly habits. For instance, I would add an extra 10 minutes on an hour long commute home from the office just to avoid a $2 toll.

I haven’t fully shifted into 6th gear on spending, but I am allowing myself the freedom to make purchases I normally wouldn’t.

Here’s why it made sense for me.

Setting myself up for success

One of my favorite types of YouTube videos to watch are on personal finance. Minority Mindset, George Kamel, Humphrey Yang, and The Money Guy Show to name a few. Whenever I watch them, I consider myself fortunate that I tend to tick the boxes on the suggestions they provide and, perhaps more importantly, have avoided the pitfalls.

• I pay myself first by automatically putting money into savings and investment accounts every time I get paid.

• When I get a raise, I put the additional money away to avoid lifestyle creep.

• I have a budget and adjust it as necessary, aka what YNAB calls “rolling with the punches”.

• I pay off my credit cards every month and don’t take on any new liabilities.

Because I’ve built up these habits over most of my life, I find myself in a blessed situation of not stressing about money.

It would be pretty easy to coast on these habits for another 20 years. But at some point I would just be amassing more and more money.

And to what end?

A coffin full of toys

No one gets out of this alive. And we can’t take our money with us when we go.

The one who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead. - Unknown

Bill Perkins is the author of Die With Zero. It is a book built on the fact that we are all going to die and the idea that net fulfillment is more important than net worth.

This book changed how I viewed my own financial situation. I highly recommend it for all of you die hard savers. It may change your perspective as well.

If all goes according to plan, you will reach a point in your life where you have socked away enough to meet your wants and needs for the foreseeable remainder of your life.

To truly accept this is to make peace with your own mortality.

We all have at least the potential to make more money in the future, we can never go back and recapture time that is now gone. So it makes no sense to let opportunities pass us by for fear of squandering our money. Squandering our lives should be a much greater worry.

— Bill Perkins, Die With Zero

After the appointment

My wife and I left the meeting with our financial consultant with a pep in our step. We decided to do something we hadn’t done in quite some time.

We went out for a Happy Hour.

It wasn’t a grand gesture of spending money. Rather it was more symbolic. We’re firm believers in spending money on memories rather than things (all though things are nice too).

A few months later I would buy a new set of golf clubs. (OK, so it’s not all about experiences but I could make new ones on the golf course, right?)

I also pulled the trigger on purchasing airfare to go back to the Philippines with my family. We haven’t been there since 2017. At first, I kept putting it off due to the pandemic but then it was the ever increasing cost of plane tickets that delayed our vacation.

The shift was that I put into practice the Die With Zero mindset.

Life is meant to be lived while we have it.

Take a moment to evaluate your financial situation. Decide if you’d be better served with a shift from saving to spending.

If you’re already making the transition, let me know about the experiences or things you’ve finally allowed yourself to purchase.

This week I thought I’d try something a little bit different.

Rather than deep diving into a story from my life, I’ll be sharing some of the stuff I’ve been watching and listening to.

You might find something that catches your interest, helps you in some way, or at the very least, gives you a laugh.

Min-Max Life News Radar

Here’s what happened this past week (at least in my little world).

• Eggs are still outrageously priced.

• Detroit has turned into a frozen lake.

• Avowed, the latest first-person fantasy RPG from Obsidian, has not been received well by the gaming community and sits at a 6.6 Metacritic user score at the time of this writing.

• Yet another plane crashed, this time in Toronto. Thankfully all passengers survived.

What I’m Watching

Severance Season 2 Episode 6: Attila

We’re now firmly in the second half of season 2. Mr. Milchik has a busy day doing something. Mark S. continues the reintegration process in a scene that had me wriggling in my seat. Helly R. takes her power back. Dylan’s Innie is having more fun than his Outtie.

But by far the best scenes in this episode for me were between Irving, Burt, and Fields. There’s a lot happening here and a ton to break down when you look at this world through the eyes of religion and Innie and Outie relationships.

Jared Henderson - Amazon removes your right to download Kindle books

Just like the title states, you’ll no longer be able to download Kindle books. You’re probably asking yourself, “Why would anyone do this?”

There are actually a couple good reasons.

• To preserve a copy of the book. Whenever they want to, Amazon can send OTA updates to change covers and text in your books. Also if a book gets banned (which is annoyingly happening more and more frequently), Amazon can remove the book from your Kindle library entirely.

• To make your own accessibility edits.

Amazon will put this into effect on February 26, 2025, so if you care about this, download your books before then.

Let’s Talk Psychology - Podcast - Live For Yourself, Not For Others

This video provides a summary of Kishimi and Koga’s book titled The Courage to Be Disliked. The main idea is that the path to true happiness is unlocked when you stop caring about what others think.

Easier said than done.

It resonated with me as I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life. When I was a kid, I wanted to be make my parents proud of me. In school, I cared about what my teachers and professors thought of me. In my adult life, I’m always conscious of how my coworkers perceive me.

This way of living adds unnecessary pressure to chase an ideal that other’s expectations of you have shaped.

Sprouht - 70 Year Old Millionaires Share Advice for Younger Self

I’m a believer in listening to the wisdom of those who’ve gone before us. It’s through their stories that we can tease apart lessons and apply them to our own lives.

Some common threads in this series of interviews are:

• Take care of your health.

• Dare to take risks (when you’re young).

• Chase your passion, not money.

• Avoid boredom.

• Question what others tell you.

Honorable Mentions

The Fall Guy (Prime Video) - This was a fun watch. Tons of action (I mean, it’s a movie about a Hollywood stunt man). I didn’t realize how much I missed Hannah Waddingham since Ted Lasso came to an end.

The Creator (Prime Video) - This Sci-Fi film’s a perfect example of why you shouldn’t solely base what you watch on a Rotten Tomatoes score. I thoroughly enjoyed following the protagonist on his journey of “AI bad to not so bad to I will destroy anyone that would hurt them”.

What I’m Listening To

Bad Friends - 5th Badiversary w/ Chris Distefano & Dr. Phil

Bobby goes to Jake Paul’s Super Bowl party. The original Top Gun movie was actually an unrequited gay love story. Adam Ray and Chris Distefano improvise songs to wrap up the show.

TigerBelly - Steve Aoki & I’m a Playtapus

Fun fact: Steve Aoki’s dad, Rocky, started the Bennihanna chain of restaurants where he made Japanese food accessible to the American palate. Before that, he sold ice cream in Harlem.

Wrapping Up

So let me know what you think.

Did you love or hate this style of post?

What are you watching and/or listening to that you would recommend?

See you all next week!

The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air.

I’m pretty sure I’m in my midlife crisis.

I blurted it out to my wife during our Valentine’s Day breakfast date. It wasn’t the most romantic thing I could have said at that moment but it was the truth.

I’ve been plagued with feelings of disconnectedness and a belief deep inside me that I’m meant for more.

Patricia Katz gave an inspiring TEDx talk where she summed it up pretty well:

I had all kinds of reasons to be celebratory but there were a lot of days that were somewhat gray and dull and colorless. Not that black cloud of depression but more like an annoying fog rolling in that made it a little bit difficult to feel excited about the day. I didn't really have a word to describe it then but I certainly do now looking back and I would describe it as a midlife malaise.

I always wondered when my midlife crisis would hit. I imagined a day when I would buy a Porsche and cruise around town with the top-down and the wind blowing through my balding, grey-streaked hair.

And the crazy thing is that it just kinda snuck up on me.

I used to be a different person — carefree, hanging out with friends, going out drinking, not worried about tomorrow.

But before I knew it, I had a wife, teenaged boys, a mortgage, and a 401k.

How quickly time flies by!

So here I am at the ripe old age of 43 reflecting on where life has taken me and what else it has in store for me.

The ever shifting goal posts

In elementary and high school I did my best to get top grades so I could get accepted to a good university.

In college I studied hard with the hope of landing a high-paying job upon graduation. Too bad so sad for me but I wasn’t able to find something in my chosen field of electrical and computer engineering. So I took a temp job in the HR department of a shipping firm.

I eventually found full time work and met my wife the following year.

A couple years later we had our first son and soon after purchased our first home.

My life’s mission became providing safety and security for my growing family.

Disclaimer: I’m sensitive to the fact that I may very well have been part of the last generation to have been able to live the American dream.

The only debt I carry is my mortgage. And while I’d like to move into a larger home, I’m handcuffed by one of the lowest home mortgage rates in US history.

I also have a healthy nest egg that I could theoretically stop contributing to and still be set up for retirement.

I share this not to trigger anyone. It’s only to say that I’ve met the goals I set for myself and now I’m left wondering where I go from here.

Regrets of the Dying

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

- George Burns

Bronnie Ware worked in palliative care for many years and wrote the best-selling book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. She shares the 5 most common regrets her patients had as they faced their own mortality.

The top 2 were:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

As I think about where I want to take the next phase of my life, I can’t help but reflect on these regrets and wonder if there are pivots that I need to start making today.

No one “expected” or forced me to live the life I have today. I made the best choices I could at every stage of my life. And while I didn’t end up designing circuits for NVIDIA, I’ve put in the work to climb the corporate ladder in another profession.

But… if I were lying in my own deathbed, what else would I wish I had done with my life?

It certainly wouldn’t have been to clock in more hours at the office.

Or sock away even more money into the nest egg.

And maybe the answer isn’t a complete change in work. It might just be building new relationships or starting a new hobby.

Reframe how you think about midlife

For many a midlife crisis is prompted by the fear of opportunities missed and the realization that time is a finite and dwindling resource.

Perhaps a more useful strategy than living with regret is to instead reflect on how best you can spend the remainder of your time.

You get so caught up in running from one meeting or errand to another that you neglect (or run out of energy) to take a pulse on where your life is at today.

Ask yourself:

• If I “had the courage to live a life true to myself”, what would I do differently?

• What’s the one thing I would change to more align myself to who I truly am (or want to be)?

• On my deathbed, what aspect of my life would I want to be the most proud of?

You don’t have to have it all figured out. I certainly don’t claim to have done it myself.

But I would urge you to give it some thought.

You’ve heard it said before that none of us are promised tomorrow, but how many of us truly live that way?

How would you live your life differently if you only had 20 years left? 10 years? 6 months?

What’s stopping you?

I wish for you to have the courage to live a life true to yourself.

I share stories from my life to help improve yours every week. If you would like to receive it, join the ever growing group of Min-Max Lifers.

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“Try this. I call ‘em Man Candy.”

They were delicious. You can’t go wrong with mini hot dogs wrapped in bacon, sprinkled with brown sugar, and baked to perfection.

I must’ve had 10 to 15 of them that night. What else was I supposed to do? It was a Super Bowl party and I don’t follow sports, let alone football.

If you’re like me and you don’t have any clue about how many innings are in a round of hockey but you still want to fit in, read on.

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I just don’t get it

The 2025 Super Bowl between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Kansas City Chiefs will air later today. It’s one of the most watched sporting events in the world. Last year over 123 million people tuned in.

Honestly I wish I cared about anything the way people care about sports.

So much emotion. So much time devoted to watching people run up and down fields or courts to score more points than the other team.

Look. I’m not knocking it. Lord knows I spend just as much time with my hobbies. There’s just something about sports that brings people together. (So long as they’re cheering for the same team.)

And that just might be the thing I’d like to be a part of.

Growing up I had friends who were into baseball, basketball, and football but I just never got into it. We would still hang out and I’d sit there watching whatever game was on but I was never invested in it. My dad didn’t watch much of anything so it wasn’t something he instilled in me.

For a time I tried watching golf since it’s a sport I actually like playing. But without anyone to talk to about it, I lost interest.

A few years ago, I joined a group chat for craft beer lovers in my area. Half the time we talk about the latest beers (usually IPAs) and occasionally trade some hard to find brews. The other half is devoted to whatever sport is in season. It’s during those times I zone out.

But it would be nice to join in.

You should still hang out

Here are some things you can do at tonight’s Super Bowl party (or any sporting event) to have a good time.

1. Since you don’t have a stake in who wins, cheer for whoever your friends are cheering for. What do you care? This way you can hitch a ride on whatever emotional roller coaster they’re on. Heck who knows? You might actually come to really like the Cincinnati Cinnamon Rolls.

2. You’re gonna be hanging out for a couple of hours anyway so you might try learning the rules of the game. Depending on who you’re with and their appetite for schooling you, you could try to ask them what’s going on. I’d imagine it would be like watching a movie with your mom — tons of questions, not a ton of comprehension.

   So scratch that. Look up the rules ahead of time. And if you have a question during the game, whip out your phone and look it up yourself.

3. Find other people as clueless as you at the party. Chances are you’re not the only one that doesn’t know what’s going on. Strike up a conversation with the folks who aren’t glued to every play.

   “Mmm… this is a damn fine guacamole. What’s your recipe?”

   “Anyone catch the latest episode of Severance? What in Kier’s name is going on?”

   That show really is wild. Hot take — Apple TV has better content than Netflix.

4. Focus on the parts of the event that you actually like. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that most people are watching the Super Bowl for the half-time performance and the commercials. And while the performers don’t get paid anything (crazy, right?), companies are shelling out $8 million per 30-second commercial so you know they’re going to try to capture your attention with something entertaining.

   Let’s just hope that commercials besides sports betting get some air time. I’m kind of tired seeing Kevin Hart in everything.

5. Incorporate another activity or hobby that you enjoy. Let’s say you care more about poker than sports. Host a game during the big game.

   I like craft beers. I might bring a curated selection to share with others. Bonus: it spurs conversation on topics you’re actually knowledgeable about.

I hope these tips help you and if you know of any others, let me know!

P.S. If you’d like to learn how you can start living a Min-Max Life, book a free 30-minute call with me.

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Here’s my 𝕏 post of the week.

My son is going to buy a Cybertruck.

You know, the shiny garbage trucks that look like they came out of an early 90s Super Nintendo video game and haven’t yet fully rendered.

“Do a barrel roll!” (Deep cut for my fellow Star Fox fans.)

He doesn’t have $75,000 yet but I’m confident he’ll get there.

He’s 14 years old.

I’ve been teaching him about financial literacy since he first laid eyes on a dollar bill.

It won’t matter how much money he makes in his lifetime if he doesn’t learn how to handle it. You can’t out-earn stupid.

While his friends are spending their weeknights playing video games and watching Netflix, my son is working the drive thru at a local fast food restaurant. And pay period by pay period he’s getting closer to his goal of Elon’s ugliest vehicle to date.

I didn’t push him to get a job. He made up his own mind to start working as soon as he was of legal age to do so. In fact, I’d rather he not yet dive headfirst into the world of work.

Regardless, every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night, he dons his uniform and makes an honest living.

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The 3 Jars

The first lesson I taught my kids was to pay their future selves. When they first started receiving cash from birthdays, Christmases, and other events, I gave them 3 jars.

Jar 1 was for Giving. 10% of their money would be set aside here.

Jar 2 was for Saving. This was a variable amount but was anywhere between 25-50%.

Jar 3 was for Spending. The remaining money would go here.

Any time they wanted to buy something, they would take money from Jar 3.

When we went to church on Sundays, they would put their Jar 1 money into the basket.

And if they had loftier goals like a truck run on electrons, they needed to fill Jar 2.

This worked well in their pre-teen years.

But since we all live in the 2020s, our methods have evolved. While cash may be king, plastic cards rule the land. So we needed to adapt.

The Digitization of Jars

Enter FamZoo.

FamZoo is one of many companies that aims to ease kids into good financial practices by giving them training wheels. I was attracted to it as I was looking for something a bit more modern than glass jars.

There are a couple of ways to configure your FamZoo experience. Here’s how I’ve set it up.

• I own the primary account from which I can deposit funds into.

• Each child has two accounts: 1 savings and 1 checking.

• Each child has a debit card linked to their checking account.

Now let’s run through a typical scenario.

My son receives $50 in cash from their grandparents as a birthday gift.

They hand me the cash.

I transfer $50 from my bank to FamZoo. (I’m able to do this from my Apple Wallet which is pretty slick.)

Once the $50 is in FamZoo (typically in 2-3 days), I transfer the money to my son’s FamZoo checking account. This happens almost immediately.

My son can then choose how much of that $50 to sock away into his savings account.

It works out pretty well and my kids no longer need to worry about dropping glass jars at the local Target.

Getting Interested in Savings

To incentivize them to save, the FamZoo savings account has an added benefit — interest.

I’m able to set an interest rate of my choosing. It’s currently at 0.5% which pays out on a weekly basis. That may not seem like much but it’s been enough to get them in the habit of saving.

After a few short years, both of my teen-aged boys have over $1,000 in their savings accounts and have hit the weekly cap I’ve set of $5.

As for their respective paychecks, FamZoo provides the requisite routing and account numbers required for direct deposit.

There are, however, a few downsides to FamZoo.

• Once money makes its way into the FamZoo ecosystem, it’s hard to pull it out. It needs to be spent. There might be a way to do access this money without a transaction although I haven’t discovered one yet.

• For workplaces that don’t offer direct deposit, there isn’t a physical bank I can visit to make a deposit with FamZoo.

  My son gets a live check from one of his jobs. It’s a two-step process to get it into FamZoo. First I need to deposit it into my personal account and then transfer it to FamZoo.

• There is a limit of $5,000 per FamZoo account. This may eventually become a problem as I’ve already mentioned that each of my boys has saved over $1,000 each.

Leveling Up Financial Literacy

After a few years of being a loyal customer, my kids are ready to graduate to opening their own checking accounts from a major bank. They’re already authorized users on my credit card which is teaching them how to responsibly handle credit as well as to start building their credit history.

Finally, they each have their own brokerage accounts where they are learning to select and purchase stocks.

They may not remember the jars or the FamZoo accounts, but the lessons they’re learning now will enable them to handle their growing incomes in the future.

Do you need to do all of this? Definitely not, but I would encourage you if you have children to start instilling the financial literacy that will serve them in their adult years.

• Pay yourself first.

• Set aside money for giving.

• Pay your credit cards in full every month.

• Invest your money.

You’ll need to decide when the right time is to start these lessons with your children.

How do you teach your kids about good money habits? Let me know in the comments.

P.S. If you’d like to learn more about this topic or how you can start living a Min-Max Life, book a free 30-minute call with me.

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Here’s my 𝕏 post of the week.

“If you spend more on coffee than on IT security, you will be hacked. What's more, you deserve to be hacked.”

― Richard Clarke, American National Security Expert

I’m not sure what it is about a new year, but it’s usually around this time that I revisit my security habits. It might have something to do with when specific products I use come up for renewal.

Growing up, the only “password” I ever needed was the combination to my high school locker. Today I have over 600 entries in my password manager. Imagine trying to remember that many passwords?

My friends and family would consider me pretty tech-savvy, so I thought I would share some of the steps I take to protect myself.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bandages and adhesive tape.

— Groucho Marx

Viruses don’t just make people sick

Let’s start with virus protection. I’m using the term viruses loosely here to mean anything that can cause harm to your device or your online security. This can range from the stuff that can render your device unusable (and maybe make you cough up some money to make it usable again) to the stuff that makes your device track everything you do and send it to the bad guys.

We use our phones the most, and I’ll be honest here — I don’t install anything on my phone to prevent viruses. This is probably a bad way to start off this week’s post.

But here’s the deal. I’m not doing anything sketchy on my phone like going to weird sites or clicking on scammy links. I’m also only downloading apps directly from the App Store and not “side-loading” questionable software.

In the decades that I’ve had a phone, I haven’t run into any issues. Knock on wood.

Now you can, if you so choose, install an antivirus. I just don’t feel that it’s worth it when you consider that it will probably affect your phone’s performance and decrease battery life.

And I don’t know about you, but I’m not trying to charge my phone 3 times a day. Twice is enough, thank you very much.

I also own a PC that I mostly use for gaming. The out-of-the-box Windows antivirus is good enough. It also offers the added benefit of being free. I’ve used various paid-for antivirus solutions with tons of bells and whistles, but for purely antivirus needs, Windows Defender is fine.

Pro Tip: Go with whatever’s bundled with your device. Don’t spend extra unless you’re going to make use of the additional functionality.

Finally, I own a MacBook which is my main writing device. The same process applies here as it does to my phone — I’m not using an antivirus software.

You are… my fire

Spend any time on YouTube (or at least my side of YouTube) and you’ll run into an advertisement for a VPN.

“Use code IAMANINFLUENCER25 to get your first month free of over advertised VPN provider because how else are you going to watch Squid Game 2 on Netflix during your travels in China?”

VPN stands for Virtual Private Network. It essentially keeps your network traffic secure from the bad guys. Want to watch Andy Samberg sing “I Want It That Way” on Brooklyn Nine-Nine on Netflix in the US? You can’t unless you VPN to Canadian Netflix. And if you’re really crafty, you might be able to finagle cheaper airfare using a VPN.

I’ve had a sort of love-hate relationship with VPN providers. There isn’t one provider with a perfect solution, but one that comes pretty close is Mullvad VPN. Coupled with their Mullvad Browser, I surf the web worry-free.

I have Mullvad VPN enabled 24/7 on all my devices.

Pro Tip: Secure your internet browsing with a VPN, especially when you’re not on your home network.

Something to look out for — you may get emails from extra cautious websites saying you’ve logged in from Albuquerque, New Mexico. Before you freak out, check which location your VPN has connected to. It may very well be you that logged in.

Your Club Penguin password ain’t cutting it anymore

Stop writing down your passwords on sticky notes attached to your monitor. And definitely stop reusing the same password for multiple sites and apps.

Whichever password manager you go with, you’ll be asked to create a single password to remember. This “master” password will be your key to all of your other passwords. You’ll no longer need to remember 661 passwords.

My go-to solution here is 1Password.

Here’s why I like 1Password.

• I can use it for more than just passwords. I also store my credit cards in it.

• 1Password works with most browsers via an extension and will automatically enter your passwords for you.

• I can access it on all my devices and it keeps everything synced. Change your password on your PC and it’s almost immediately available from your phone.

• It also functions as your 2FA token generator. No need to have a separate app like Google Authenticator or Authy. Bonus: it will automatically enter the 2FA token when browsing with the extension.

Pro Tip: Save yourself the headache of managing hundreds of passwords. Get yourself a password manager. There are free alternatives like KeePass. Just note that it won’t have all the features I mentioned.

Look at me. I’m the captain now.

According to identitytheft.org, reports of identity theft have continued to increase year over year. In 2024 alone, there had been 5.7 million reports to the FTC.

So what can you do about this?

First, stay on top of your credit reports. You can get a free report once a year from the three major bureaus. Check for anything that you don’t recognize and report it immediately.

Second, freeze your credit files until you need them for situations like opening a new card or taking out a loan. I won’t go into the details of how to do it, although it is rather straightforward. You can follow NerdWallet’s instructions using this link.

Third, get yourself identity protection. There are a bunch of providers. Currently, I have Aura as they had the best deal on a family plan when I was looking around last year.

Candidly, out of all the tools I’ve mentioned, setting up identity protection has been the most time-consuming. Whatever tool you go with, you’ll need to enter personal details like your social security number, email addresses, and credit card numbers. These tools will then monitor the dark web for your personal data.

And should there be any reports of your personal data being found on these malicious sites, you’ll need to take steps to remediate the risk such as changing any affected passwords or reviewing your credit reports for fraudulent activities.

Pro Tip: Check if you already get some sort of identity protection from your credit card merchant, bank, or even AAA. They usually offer at least some basic protection for free.

Take a bite out of the elephant

If you’re new to all of this, start with one area to improve upon before tackling another. Don’t try to do it all at once.

You’ll never be 100% protected from all threats, but you should at least take steps to improve your security posture. It may be as simple as using the password manager that’s built into your phone and making sure you use a unique password for every site.

But start somewhere.

This isn’t meant to be a comprehensive list, but if there’s anything I’ve missed, please let me know.

Share this article with your friends and family to help protect them.

Stay safe out there.

Here’s my 𝕏 post of the week.

For I have known them all already, known them all:

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

- “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” By T.S. Eliot

One of the few memories I have of my grandmother was of her giving me plain cookies dunked in coffee mixed with milk and sugar. I must’ve been about 4 or 5 years old.

I’m not quite sure why that memory stuck with me all these years, but I can still taste that sweet, creamy caffeine-infused treat.

And maybe that’s where my love affair with coffee started.

It wasn’t until about 2010 when I started to get serious about my caffeine habit. A coworker at the time introduced me to the fine art of the pour-over coffee.

Goodbye, K-Cups and Starbucks. They were now ranked inferior to my beautiful ChemEx.

Who cares if it took far longer to brew? Or that it required special tools like a burr grinder (NOT a spice grinder, heaven forbid) and a goose-necked kettle; one to dial in the grind, the other to regulate the flow of water.

I had bought it as a Mother’s Day present for my wife. It probably wasn’t the best gift I could’ve gotten her. I can count on one hand the number of times she’s actually brewed coffee.

But she has benefited from a fresh ground, piping hot cup o’ Joe just about every morning since.

At one point, I even had a mail order subscription for small batch, single origin coffee beans.

I was THAT guy.

But in November 2024, I quit coffee cold turkey (which bee-tee-dubs, is not the most pleasant way to give something up).

Say It Ain’t So

There hadn’t been anything earth-shattering that caused me to stop drinking coffee. At the time, I had been introducing some changes to my lifestyle as part of my perpetual journey to improve my health. I had (re-)started an exercise regimen having been inspired by my wife. I also switched to a (mostly) vegan diet.

In the process of cutting out processed foods, animal products, sugar, and salt, I thought to myself, “Why not coffee too?”

WebMD provides the following benefits of giving up caffeine.

• Lowered Anxiety

• Better Sleep

• Fewer Bathroom Breaks

• Slower Skin Aging

• Dodging Dependence

• Better Nutrient Absorption

• Stronger, Whiter Teeth

• Lower Blood Pressure

I wouldn’t consider myself a person who becomes easily addicted. Occasionally, I like to test this theory and abstain from various addictive substances. In this case, I wanted to remove my dependence on coffee.

It had become a daily ritual. Wake up, heat water, grind beans, brew, drink a couple of cups of coffee, repeat the next day.

By giving up coffee, I cut down on the amount of time I needed to prep for my workday, which meant I could invest more of my time hurkle-durkling in bed.

(Look that up — hurkle-durkle. A fun, Scottish word to say with a fun meaning.)

I also found that coffee didn’t make me any more alert or focused. After getting past about a week of withdrawal symptoms, I was just as sharp without the caffeine coursing through my body.

The Not So Great

There was one major downside, however, to giving up caffeine.

What I discovered was that many of my social interactions depended on the black bean juice.

What do you say to someone who effectively only drinks water?

“Hey, wanna go out and grab a Dasani?”

And that’s why I have slowly re-incorporated coffee into my life.

When my wife and I went away for a couple of days in New York City, we went to a few coffee shops to sip the mornings away.

We also resumed our weekend coffee dates.

My enjoyment of the quality time spent with my wife outweighs the (slight) dependence I have on coffee.

Addiction or not, I’ll continue to drink coffee, but maybe not as much as I did before.

Hey, at least now I know I can stop whenever I want.

And in the end, it’s up to you to decide if coffee should be part of your Min-Max life.

Let me know what your experience has been. Are you more of a tea drinker? Or do you need a continuous IV drip of coffee to function on the daily?

Here’s my most engaged 𝕏 post of the week.

38% (of couples who divorce) report financial problems as a divorce cause.

Revealing Divorce Statistics In 2025, Forbes.com

When I met my wife, she came bundled with a charge card debt of $5,000.

She didn’t come right out and say it. It’s not like it’s something you talk about on your first date over an appetizer of fried calamari.

When we married a short 8 months later, I decided to free her of her shackles and pay off the debt. I was fortunate enough to have had the money on hand and I didn’t want to start our married life burdened by monthly debt repayments.

We will be celebrating our 20th year wedding anniversary soon. The one strategy that has helped minimize financial stress for us and has factored into the amazing relationship we have now is consolidating our finances.

This is something that not all couples follow, but for us, it works.

And it may work for you too.

Why Consolidate Your Finances?

• It keeps things simple.

  When we pay the mortgage or the water bill, it all comes out of one account. No need to juggle multiple checking accounts hoping you picked the right one.

• It increases visibility.

  We log into the same budgeting app and see the same expenditures. At all times, we know how much money is coming in and how much is going out. We’re both on the same page.

  And if your spouse is spending just a tad too much on her eccentric Chinese Gacha doll hobby, you can have a conversation before it endangers your ability to eat that month.

• It prevents arguments.

  When you’re on the same page looking at the same line items, you don’t need to wonder if your electricity is going to be shut off or how lavish of a vacation you can take. You also know exactly where all your money went at the end of the month.

• It builds trust.

  We don’t keep secrets from one another. There aren’t any invisible, rainy-day accounts we don’t know about. And all though we may not bring in the same income, our money is pooled together for our eventual retirement. This also increases the psychological safety that we have each other’s back if things go sideways.

• It puts the work on the person that wants it.

  I love numbers and keeping things organized in an app. My wife doesn’t. That’s fine. This removes any pressure from her to manage our finances and puts it on me.

  But here’s the thing. I find it a joy to track everything. I’m weird like that. And she’s free to buy this month’s Gacha doll.

Here’s How To Do It

When you have separate finances, you’re acting like one business with two separate accounting departments never knowing what the other is investing or bringing in.

Now this may work for you. I’m not here to judge.

But if you haven’t already brought your finances together and are interested in doing so, here are the steps you can take.

1. Set aside time together to have a discussion.

   If you’re unsure about your spouse’s stance, broach the topic when you’re both far removed from your usual stressors like work or kids. Go out for a walk.

   Grab some coffee. Find a neutral location.

   Let them know why you want to take this step. (Hint: Use my list of benefits above if you get stuck.) Paint your vision of a brighter future.

   With any luck, you’ll be onto the next step.

2. Set a goal.

   Do you want to go on a cruise across Europe next year?

   How about paying down all your debt this year?

   Retire at 55?

   Whatever it is, create a goal (or set of goals) together.

3. Get the receipts.

   Now onto the fun part. Plan some focused time for the two of you to sit down and lay it all out.

   The checking accounts, the savings accounts, credit card bills, student loans, Roth IRAs, that terrible card you opened in college in exchange for that toy basketball hoop for your dorm room.

   Everything.

   Start documenting what’s coming in every month and what’s going out.

   Figure out how much is going into your fixed expenses like rent and car payments and how much is discretionary like clothing and eating out.

4. Make adjustments.

   Now that you have a clear picture of all your dollars and what you want to achieve with them, make adjustments to your current finances to put you on the path to meet that goal.

   Maybe you want to cut back on a few subscriptions to put a little bit more into your mortgage payments. Go for it.

5. Revisit your plan.

   Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

   -Mike Tyson

   It’s up to you when you do it and you probably need to meet more often in the beginning, but make sure to reassess and recalibrate your plan especially when your situation changes.

   Getting a fat bonus at work. Your kid is applying to colleges. The water heater breaks.

   You’re gonna need a new plan.

Now it’s your turn. Will you commit to combining your finances for a happier, less stressed marriage?

Or maybe you already have. What’s your experience been?

Know someone who’s going through financial woes with their loved one? Go ahead and share this post.

If you found this helpful or you disagree with me completely, subscribe for my weekly posts.

I wish you all the best in achieving your financial dreams and living a Min-Max life!

Here’s my 𝕏 post of the week.

The ads for Noom Med led me to believe that I would reach my goal weight in just a few short months.

I didn’t. Not even close.

But that’s OK.

I made it through 10 months of the program. And that’s when my real health journey began.

It’s Go Time

Here’s a picture of me the day I decided to subscribe to Noom Med. During this gender reveal party, I signed up on my phone in between bites of dinner and treats. It was January 21, 2024.

At the time, I weighed 214 lbs, had a body fat percentage of 36%, and had a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 33.8 which put me well into the Obese category.

My measurements were terrible, but they weren’t the main reason I decided to start yet another weight loss program. During the years since the pandemic, I gained 25 lbs. I felt myself getting slower and having less energy as the weight came on. I remember feeling uncomfortable in my own skin as if the body I had wasn’t truly mine.

For every pound of excess weight carried, 4 pounds of extra pressure is applied to the knees. So if you're 10 pounds overweight, your knees absorb 40 pounds of extra pressure, which can damage the joints over time. - North Oaks Orthopaedic Specialty Center

I was tired.

Hunger was constant.

I hated looking at myself in the mirror or in pictures.

I had tried working out in my home gym to shed the pounds but the extra weight I was carrying made HIIT classes extra challenging. I thought to myself if I could just lose some weight, working out would be easier and then I’d really be on my way to getting the body of my dreams (or at least my pre-pandemic sub-200 lb. body).

Months earlier I had heard of Noom from a coworker who looked like he was in great shape. He had shared with me his elevator pitch for the program and how he was able to eat what he wanted by planning his meals accordingly. It piqued my interest.

Money, Money, Money

First, let’s get the cost out of the way.

Here’s the breakdown of what I paid. Except for the trial, all other prices were for a year subscription. YMMV depending on whatever discounts and bundles that Noom may currently be running.

• 7-day trial - $0.50

• Noom Premium - $179.00

• Additional courses on stress management and aging for males - $29.00

• Noom Med - $588.00

• Noom meal and workout plans - $99.00

• Grand Total - $895.50

It was a hefty price tag but I was willing to pay it if it would help me improve my health. I’ve always been a believer in prevention over dealing with diseases and illnesses. And if $900 now leads to not having to pay for medications and treatments down the line, fantastic.

I’ll focus on the Noom Med portion of the program but just a quick note on the standalone Noom program; what sets it apart from other programs is its psychology-based approach to weight loss.

Food is neither “good” or “bad”. Instead you learn through various, self-paced courses to categorize food by its caloric density. Less dense foods like cucumbers and broccoli are Green while highly dense foods like pizza and French fries are Red. From there you dive into other courses that help you identify your triggers for over eating, and you also learn psychological tricks to overcome them.

The Ozempic Craze

If we rewind to January 2024, GLP-1’s like Ozempic/Wegovy and Mounjaro were all the rage. It felt like every celebrity and influencer were taking it. You couldn’t escape it if you spent any time on social media.

Even if you didn’t admit it, you were probably thinking about trying it.

Today, Noom Med’s advertising has become overtly focused on GLP-1’s. But at the time when I signed up, they weren’t pushed as heavily into the forefront.

Before starting the program, you need to submit a recent blood test or schedule to get one done. In my case, I visited my PCP (Primary Care Physician). Once I had the results, I uploaded them via the app. You’re then matched with a clinician in your state.

Every session I had with a clinician was less than 15 minutes, some even lasted only 5. In my first session, the clinician reviewed my blood work with me.

She then dropped the question I had been waiting for.

“Are you interested in a weight-loss drug like Wegovy?”

Having heard horror stories ranging from diarrhea to death, I was hesitant to go that route and asked for alternatives. That’s when I started a regimen of Metformin. Its actual use is for diabetes treatment but can be prescribed off-label for weight loss. This had felt like a low-risk entry to the “Med” side of Noom.

Initially my weight loss was consistent… but slow. In the first month, I lost about 5 lbs. It almost made up for the side effects of nausea and the perpetual altering of my taste buds from the Metformin.

Over the first 6 months, I lost a total of 14 lbs.

That’s when my weight loss completely and utterly stalled. We had attempted to increase the Metformin dosage but it didn’t seem to help. I guess I was just one of those people for whom it wasn’t effective.

Around October 2024, I went cold turkey off the Metformin as my prescription had run out and it seemed impossible to get an appointment with a clinician.

I decided to give up.

If I Could Turn Back Time

So here’s what I would do differently if I could go back to that gender reveal party.

1. Do more research on GLP-1’s

   Who knows? Maybe if I dug a little deeper or even talked to a couple of people who were taking them, I’d have been more comfortable with trying it out.

2. Don’t take the add-ons

   I’m a sucker for add-ons. Always have been. Especially when there’s a limited-time component. Pretty sure I’m a copywriter’s wet dream.

   If you’re thinking about it, start with the trial. And if you really like it, just get the Noom subscription. You can always get all the other stuff later.

3. Find a support group

   Noom will tell you that they provide a supportive community. And they do, to an extent. But what I found disappointing was that Noom no longer provides personal coaching even though the app made all sorts of references to it.

4. Don’t believe the advertising

   Noom will suggest that you can get to your dream weight in a certain time frame. But that’s only if you have optimal results. I followed all the courses like it was my new religion and I got no where close to what the adverts suggested.

Noom is probably right for some people; it just wasn’t for me.

There is a bright side to my story. Before 2024 ended, I would kickstart my weight loss and lose another 15 lbs. I now have a sustainable diet, my appetite is under control, and I’m getting closer to feeling like my old self. I’ll go into the details in a future post.

Make sure to subscribe if you’d like to learn how I did it.

Here’s my most viewed 𝕏 post of the week.

Spotify started the trend.

Then other music streaming companies followed their lead.

Now every application seems to provide one this time of year.

What is it?

It’s the annual wrap up of your activities and whatever else could be gleaned from the data you’ve shared.

Privacy is important, I agree. But I also love the stories that our data tells.

Since this will be my last post to this publication for 2024, I thought it would be fun to share my year in music, gaming, and books.

And the beat goes on

Confession time - I don’t actually listen to Spotify. I know. Blasphemous.

I am deeply ingrained in the Apple ecosystem. I blame my family. Apple just makes everything so dumb easy that it really cuts down on my tech support time if my wife and kids use iPhones.

Anyway… Apple Music has its Replay ’24. Here’s what I’ve been listening to.

• Total artists listened to: 1,814

• Top Artist: Hillsong Worship

• Total songs listened to: 3,379

• Top Song: How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin / Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter (Tied)

• Top Album: Mighty to Save (Live) by Hillsong Worship

• Top Genres: Christian, Pop, Alternative, Hip-Hop, Rock (in that order)

Gamers gonna game

It wouldn’t be a Min-Max Life post if I didn’t mention gaming.

Steam does a fantastic job of analyzing game data. Unfortunately I severely cut back on PC gaming in 2024 so the analytics aren’t indicative of my actual gameplay.

I bought a PlayStation 5 late last year and absolutely fell in love with it. Being able to play games on the big screen TV while laying back on the couch can’t be beat. It’s how I spent the majority of my gaming in 2024. Sony doesn’t do an annual wrap up so I’ll just share some of my statistics.

• Games started: 56

• Games where I’ve reached an ending: 9

• Top 5 most played games: Dying Light 2 - 77 hours, Horizon Forbidden West - 75 hours, Lost Judgment - 65 hours, God of War Ragnarok - 54 hours, Ghost of Tsushima - 48 hours

And if you’re wondering how to pull your own stats, I used PSNTools.com. Just set your profile to public and supply your PSN ID. Presto.

Take a look. It’s in a book.

I use Goodreads to track books I’m reading as well as what I’d like to read in the future. Goodreads calls its wrap up My Year in Books.

• Pages read: 3,456

• Books read: 16

• Shortest book read: Guillermo Del Toro’s The Hunted: The Boy in the Iron Box, 20 pages

• Longest book read: Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash, 563 pages

• Highest rate book on Goodreads that I’ve read: Tim Ferriss’ The Almanack of Naval Ravikant

Actually that last one was an audiobook so I’m not sure it really counts but we’re going to go with it.

I’ve got stats from other apps I use like Calm (a meditation app) and Endel (AI generated soundscapes), but I’ve already shared enough.

2024: A Year of New Beginnings

Let’s move on from numbers to a few personal milestones.

An ongoing and important thread for me throughout 2024 was my health. I track a bunch of metrics including heart rate, sleep, and cardio fitness but the most interesting one for most people is weight.

While I don’t take much stock in the number, I am happy to share that I’m down 27 pounds since the start of the year. BMI is also a flawed measurement but with that said, I’m down 4 points and I’m no longer in the obese category.

(A bit of inside baseball, but I’m writing this post the day before Christmas so who knows where those numbers will be when this post goes live? There are a lot of calories between now and then.)

My clothes fit better today and in fact, I’ve had to refresh my wardrobe due to some pieces not fitting well at all anymore.

I’m not all the way to where I want to be just yet, but I’m feeling more and more confident in my body everyday.

In the professional arena, I’ve started a new role in the company I’ve been with since 2020. It aligns well with my skillset and I’m leading exciting, high impact initiatives.

That’s not all, folks!

Life has a way of surprising you and 2024 was no different.

I’d be remiss not to mention one of my most satisfying milestones and that is starting this very publication, the Min-Max Life.

As much as I love the act and art of writing online, it wouldn’t mean much without you.

Whether you read or listen to my weekly musings, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to be a part of my community. It means the world to me.

I’ll be taking some time off and spending a few days away with wifey building new memories. You’ll still get a brand spankin’ new post from me every Sunday so subscribe today so you don’t miss out.

Here’s to you living your Min-Max Life!

And as usual, here’s my 𝕏 post of the week.

What if you could go back in time?

What would you do with your new superpower?

• Have you messed things up with the love of your life?

• Did you miss out on buying Bitcoin/Apple/Nvidia at its infancy?

It would be as comforting as a toddler’s security blanket to possess the ability to take a snapshot of your life and when faced with difficult or embarrassing moments, go back to that point.

Espresso + Martini = Disaster

At my company’s holiday party, I chatted with a coworker while nursing a bottle of beer. She wore a fashionable red top, white pants, and black heels. Normally, I don’t pay a ton of attention to what anyone is wearing, but her outfit would be ingrained in my memory over the next few minutes.

We were discussing the types of martini available at the open bar and, out of a deeper curiosity, if it would be possible to smuggle in an espresso as a key ingredient for a (you got it) espresso martini.

Just then, a waiter came around with a plate of shrimp. I grabbed one in my free hand and attempted to stealthily have a bite. Unfortunately, I completely lost track of the open end of the bottle in my other hand. I entered a painful reality as she quickly let me know that my bubbly libations were now all over her pant leg and shoes.

I wish I could have wiped away my embarrassment as easily as I had wiped the spilled beer from the floor.

Menu Screen → Load Last Auto Save

If this had been a video game of my life, I could undo this moment like it had never happened. I could safely be back at the start of the evening or heck, even at the point where the waiter came around. A simple “no thank you” would’ve opened a new alternate reality where every drop of beer would be safely stored in that bottle.

Save Scumming

My earliest memory of being able to store and go back to a point in time in a game was in Mega Man on the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). This was an archaic system where a grid of icons had to be entered correctly to load where you last left off. Not every game had this, at least in their original, non-emulated releases. This was the case in games like Super Mario Bros. where the entire game needed to be played in one sitting.

The mechanics to save and load have come a far way since the 90s. So much so that there is a faction of gamers that believe that the overuse of these mechanics is “scummy” behavior and takes away from the spirit and intent of the game being played.

The phrase “save scumming” comes from the rogue-like community. These types of games are meant to be difficult. Losing is part of the process of “gitting gud” and improving your skills to the point where saves are not needed.

I believe, however, that save scumming allows you to get the best possible ending in a game. You can even reload a save point before a particularly gnarly choice and experience all endings of a game.

It’s your game and your time invested; play it how you want.

Back to Reality

Pick your favorite film where time-travel is a primary plot device.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Adventure

Bill & Ted Face the Music

Maybe not what you were thinking (hey, we’re different people from potentially different generations), but whichever film you had in mind, you know that going back in time comes with its own, hairier challenges.

Unless [insert your personal least-hated tech billionaire] figures out time-travel IRL, I’m afraid you’re stuck with the life you have, complete with all the disappointments your time on earth has allotted to you.

Terrific news though. You are the person you are today because of the moments you wish you could rewind.

You weren’t able to repair your relationship with your ex?

BUT you ended up with someone you love way more. OR you’re free to meet your soulmate.

You didn’t buy Bitcoin when it launched for a nickel a coin?

Neither did I, but like me, you’re probably now open to other alternative “investments”. OR you buy that coin or stock you’ve been eyeing, commit to holding it for the long run, and don’t miss out on the future upside.

You spilled beer on a coworker and are eternally doomed until the end of your days to relive that moment whenever your dumb brain decides it would be the most inconvenient time to do so? Say at your kid’s graduation? Or maybe in the middle of an important certification exam? (Again, just me? FINE.)

Iron Man Mode

Until we each get our own time travel devices, here are my suggestions to living the life you’ve got.

1. Make the best choices you can with the knowledge that you have today. Occasionally, that might mean you need to stop putting off a decision and go with your gut.

2. Arm yourself with knowledge. Still not ready to make your move? Do your research. Hire a coach (or a therapist).

3. Put it into practice. Don’t just listen to what other people tell you. You’ve got to get in the driver’s seat of your life and act.

4. Live your life with no regrets. We don’t get do-overs so stop acting like it.

5. Apologize (for the 5th time) to your coworker. Or pour your beer into an adult sippy cup.

You Got This

You’re going to live an amazing, horrible, fantastic, the absolute worst, the absolute best life.

Going through life without a safety net is the forcing function to learn and not repeat your previous mistakes.

I’m still going through my allotted-at-birth-share of sh!t as I’m sure you are. But that is what makes you human and life worth living.

So this holiday season, live the life you’ve got… and stay away from crustaceous hors d'oeuvres.

Here’s my 𝕏 post of the week.

I asked my son what he wants for Christmas.

“I already told Santa.”

Great. I hope Santa gets you what you want.

@MarcelBeFree

Now onto this week’s post.

“Can we chat for a few minutes?”

I stared blankly at the Slack message from Human Resources while my heart rate started to increase.

My day had started like any other.

OK. That’s a lie.

The pandemic had started a few weeks prior. My coworkers and I were just getting used to working from home.

On this sunny April day, I was expecting a delivery of a pellet grill smoker. I was pretty excited about getting into smoking to complement my hobby of home brewing beer.

I was sitting at my makeshift work desk, aka my dining room table, when I noticed that I wasn’t able to contact my boss over Slack. It was pretty strange since he was usually pretty responsive during work hours.

Then the rumors started flying. Our company was going through a mass layoff.

That’s when HR messaged me. My time was up.

My role had been “reduced”. 4 years of being indoctrinated with messages of family and community went out the window.

I was shocked. It was like watching a terrible car accident, except I was the one in the car that couldn’t be saved by the Jaws of Life.

As soon as I got off the call with HR, I tried logging into my laptop. I just wanted to reach out to my work besties. But, no. I was denied that consolation as the company’s IT department swiftly revoked my access.

A New Reality

I let my wife know. Then the rest of my family.

Decoupled from the burden of useless meetings, “can we touch base”’s, and “per my last email”’s, I made my way to the garage to unbox my smoker.

Still in a state of shock, I disassociated and started prepping my first brisket.

Days later, I would receive a box of personal items I had left in the office. 3,375 sq. in. of birthday cards, a ping pong paddle, a mouse pad, profession-related books, and other belongings each with their own memories.

I went through the box while reflecting on my journey so far.

I started my first “real” job out of college working in a service department for a company that sold automated vehicle entry products. Think parking garage equipment.

5 years later, I worked as a software engineer for a well known media company.

I had never been laid off. Not until now. I wasn’t sure how to process my emotions of loss, sadness, anxiety, and grief. I had lost my parents before this point, but this felt… different.

As the bread winner of my family, I worried that when my severance ran out, I’d need to come up with creative solutions to supporting them.

Life Goes On

I took a week for myself before I started my job hunt.

During that time, I built a website showcasing my achievements. I reached out to previous coworkers (many from the company that just let me go) for testimonies. I’m blessed to have had so many help me in my time of need.

I added my website to my LinkedIn profile and resume, and I hit the job boards.

I went on a few remote interviews. All seemed to go well, but unfortunately, they didn’t pan out.

If you’re looking for a job today (December 2024), these were entirely unique times. Recruiters would keep you up to date on your status. Hiring managers would let you know if you were moving on to the next stage. Wild, I know.

With the clock ticking and about 2 weeks left on my severance package, I got a call back from a recruiter of a Fortune 500 company.

“Congratulations. We’re sending you an offer.”

The clouds parted, and I heard angels tooting their tiny, glorious horns.

I was able to negotiate a base salary that was 20% more than my previous. I would also be eligible for an annual bonus and grant of equity.

After a few months of career limbo, I was finally landing on my feet.

Looking Back

Even after landing a better role, I had spent the first couple years in a state of anger and resentment toward my previous company.

“How could they do that to me?”

“I was one of their best employees.”

“Their leaders are f!ckin’ outta their minds.”

“I hope they tank.”

I’ve heard from previous coworkers that I was part of only the first round of layoffs. The vibe there has thoroughly changed. It’s no longer the fun startup we once knew.

It took more time than I’d like to admit but I’m finally at peace with it. I count it as a step in my journey.

Strategies for Handling a Layoff

1. Prepare

“But, Marcel, I’ve got a job. My manager loves me and they’d never let me go.”

Maybe. Maybe not. You could be the best employee in the world (heck, I thought I was), but your company has no loyalty to you. If it shall pleaseth the shareholders, you may find yourself kicking rocks.

So prepare now. Start building yourself an emergency fund or as I call it, an oh sh!t bucket.

Most personal finance gurus recommend socking away anywhere between 3 to 6 months of expenses. Sounds daunting? Start saving for a week’s worth of expenses and build up from there with each paycheck. Better yet, set up an automatic deposit into a separate account that you conveniently forget about until you need it (hopefully never).

2. Self Reflect

During my career limbo, I did quite a bit of self-reflection. I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to go back into the same role. I researched other alternatives. I thought about my passions and what career I wanted for myself.

Maybe you love what you once did. By all means, continue to look for a role doing that.

But maybe this is a sign from the universe to go chase after whatever makes your heart sing (and pays your bills).

3. Do Something Unique

I once saw this video from an out of work Product Manager. She treated herself as the Product and made a video showcasing herself. It was super creative and engaging.

I made a website to use as an aid in my job search. Did it help? Maybe. But it certainly didn’t hurt.

What can you create to stand out from the other 697 applicants?

Growth Is Born From Failure

4 years later I’m still gainfully employed with the same company. In fact, I’ve been promoted a couple of times.

"Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful." - Zig Ziglar

If I hadn’t been laid off all those years earlier, I might never have:

• Achieved a Director level position.

• Run initiatives that positively impact tens of thousands of employees.

• Met and befriended some of the most intelligent and talented people in my industry.

• Been able to support my family (and extended family) during our toughest challenges over the last few years.

• Amassed enough of a nest egg to be on the path to comfortably retire.

If you’re looking for work, hang in there. Layoffs suck, but it may just lead you to your next big thing.